Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
