There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
