so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
