I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
