I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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