Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
