Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
