Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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