Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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