I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
