Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
