ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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