Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
