She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
