D3 body, D1 cock
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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