I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
