I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
