I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
