i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
