Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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