I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
