Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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