goodnight i made you a song goodbye
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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