I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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