I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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