I'm really into asian looking animals
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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