I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
