Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
