are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
