On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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