i already hear my dad disowning me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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