i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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