it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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