it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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