Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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