would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
