We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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