I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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