he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
