I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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