theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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