Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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