I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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