I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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