that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
