I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
