I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
