its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
