Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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