if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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