So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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